Thursday, February 20, 2014

I am Second.

I like to blog and I like to write. But lately I’ve been stuck in a bit of writer’s block. I’ll sit down and start to write what I think is going to be the next gripping blog post that is going to attract hundreds of thousands of readers to my blog...or maybe just fifty readers...or maybe only ten...and then about a third of the way through I lose interest in what I’m writing about. Or I think that it’s just not that interesting. But for the sake of promising my students to write the same assignment that they have and sharing it with them (ONLY if they all get it done), I’m going to try and plow to completion.

Today in class we watched a video of Sean Lowe and what “I am Second” means to him. Recently Sean was on the reality TV show, “The Bachelorette” and then later “The Bachelor.” Along with being a participant comes the tabloids and the scrutiny of every aspect of your life. He talked about how before going on the show his professional life had crumbled and the challenges that came along with that. He looked at becoming The Bachelor as a door that God was opening to him, even as he struggled through filming with whether or not what he was doing was right.

Sean was very open about why he is the way he is. The driving force in his life is Jesus. Jesus is the center of Sean’s life and the reason for the decisions that Sean makes. Recently a friend of mine told me that she enjoys hanging out with me because I talk so openly about God and his role in my life. She told me that she struggles with that...being open and honest about the role that God plays in your life.

As we go through life, we have many opportunities that helps to grow as individuals. Successes. Failures. Disappointments. Experiences. All of these opportunities provide us with a wide variety of emotions that help us to decipher what we as people see as positive and negative experiences, which in turn teach us about ourselves. As you learn about yourself, you start to become more comfortable with certain aspects of your life. For me, that comfort came when I was working in an environment where, initially, it felt like everyone was different from me. But everyone was willing to learn about me, who I was, and what I stood for. And it was their open mindedness about me, that really encouraged me to accept myself and be proud and confident in who I am. To be comfortable in sharing with them who I am, and why I am.

And so I’m just me. I try to live my life as an honest reflection of who I am. 

Who am I?

I am a daughter.
I am a sister.
I am an aunt.
I am a friend.
I am a listener.
I am a talker.
I am a runner.
I am a finisher.
I am a realist.
I am an optimist.
I am a work in progress.
I am a seeker.
I am a teacher.
I am a student.
I am a baker.
I am a musician.
I am a director.
I am a fighter.
I am a leader.
I am a follower.
I am a dreamer.

But it all of these things…

I am Second.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014


i don't know.
so many unknowns.

if i...then...
but if i...then...

how do i fit.
where do i fit.
is it supposed to fit.

questions. without answers.
so much time that's never enough.

where to turn.


the june that got away

Some days
I want to stop time.
And pause.

One blink
one day.
Another day
another memory.

I try to take it all in.
Hold it in and close to my heart.

The sand
through my fingers.

And no matter how I try to catch it
or make it stop
it continues to fall
to the beach.

The sand will never be the same.
To pick it up
will never be the same.

and different.

But always sand.